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In this article, I want to share some philosophical approaches that can help you view difficult life situations from a new perspective. If you tend to overthink past events or upcoming situations, this article might be just what you need.

The Burden of Overplanning

If you're the kind of person who mentally runs through countless scenarios and reactions for even seemingly trivial events, like a family gathering, you're not alone. You plan everything in advance to be prepared for potential confrontations or questions, and you have a plan B, C, D, and E for every possible outcome.

Most of the time, reality turns out to be far less dramatic. Still, it’s hard to stop meticulously overanalyzing every detail. There’s a lot of talking, everyone has their own opinion, and sometimes heated discussions arise. Part of you wants to avoid hurting others, while another part wants to stick to your principles. The result? You hold back, even though you have more to say. And the bigger the group, the more reserved you become.

Of course, this isn’t always the case. With certain groups of friends, you can have deep, eye-to-eye conversations. But with people who can't take criticism or don't accept differing opinions, communication can quickly become exhausting. These talks often end with people going into attack mode, lowering the quality of the conversation.

Choosing the Right Friends

Quality over quantity! You get to choose your friends, and having a small, close-knit circle isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Many “false friends” only amplify feelings of loneliness. It’s better to spend time with a few good friends than to surround yourself with superficial acquaintances.

And as for family, well, you don't have a choice in that direction, since you can't pick your parents – but even here, it’s important to set healthy boundaries, especially if certain family relationships weigh you down emotionally.

Keep Your Successes to Yourself

Whether you’re introverted or extroverted, here’s a valuable piece of advice: Keep your successes, goals, and personal matters mostly to yourself. Don’t tell everyone how great you are at bowling or that you just bought a new sports car. It’s fine to be proud of your achievements, but not everyone will share your joy. Many people simply don’t care, and only a few will genuinely be happy for you. Of course, not everyone wishes you harm, but choose wisely whom you share what with.

Ruminating on the Past and Planning for the Future

Leave the past behind. No matter how embarrassing or wrong your decisions were – they shaped who you are today. Life is a game without a reset button, but we can always get better.

Long-term goals are important, but don’t keep postponing your happiness into the future. Being happy means enjoying the present moment.

I know how difficult it can be to stay in the here and now and remain positive. If you catch yourself dwelling on past mistakes or waiting for better times, pause for a moment. Put your phone down and try to recognize what you’ve achieved up to this day.

And if something still stresses you out – whether it’s the neighbor spouting conspiracy theories or someone being disrespectful – try to stay calm. Smile, thank them for the info, and let it go. Life’s too short to get worked up over small things.

The Freedom of the Moment

The universe has existed for 13.8 billion years, and our lives are just a brief moment within it. No matter how embarrassing or awkward a situation may be – it will eventually be forgotten, just like us. In 20 years, hardly anyone will remember you, after 50 years you’ll be a faint memory, and after 100 years, part of history. Does that sound scary? No, it’s good news!

Enjoy the short time you have here. Whether you want to get married and have kids or travel the world solo – do what makes you happy. That’s the true meaning of life. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and be sensitive to their feelings. Everyone is fighting their own battles.

Seeking Professional Help

Even with the best mindset, you can still fall into depression. Telling someone with depression to “just think positively” doesn’t help. Such advice is usually well-meaning but only works temporarily. If you know someone struggling with depression, offer your support and listen. But depression is a condition that requires professional help.

The most important thing is acknowledging that you need help. From there, targeted steps can follow to overcome depression. Talk to your family doctor or find a therapist. In emergencies, there are also hotlines available.

Closing Words

The next time you’re overthinking and your thoughts are troubling you, remember this: Nothing really matters. And that’s the true freedom we have.