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The way we present ourselves and communicate varies depending on the context. We speak differently with our boss than with a colleague or a brother. These different communication styles raise the question of who we really are.

What is Identity Formation?

Identity formation refers to the process through which we develop a self-image and create an identity. This process begins in childhood and continues into adulthood. We try to discover who we are, what we like, what we can do, and what we want. External influences play a crucial role in our development. One quickly realizes that we behave differently depending on the person we are interacting with and often alter our identity based on who we are talking to.

This is not always easy, especially when we constantly need to adapt to navigate different areas of life. From an early age, we are taught how we should behave, and sometimes we lose touch with our true identity in the process. In certain situations or relationships, we find it difficult to show ourselves as we really are. Often, we do not even know who we are anymore. This can lead to uncomfortable situations, especially when we have many different social contacts and feel the need to adapt individually in every setting. If we find ourselves with several people at once and apply a different identity for each group, it can become quite stressful.

What Can We Do?

Ideally, we aim for an identity that we can authentically express in all areas of life without needing to pretend. It is important to clarify how we want to be and to reflect this personality in all aspects of our lives. However, this does not mean that you should joke around with your boss as the funny guy. Such relationships are different, and it is perfectly fine to adapt accordingly. Nevertheless, you should not have to completely twist yourself. For example, if you are hanging out with a group of friends where the occasional racist joke comes up, which would not be well received in another group, you should ask yourself whether you really want to be the type of person who finds such things funny. If not, then it is okay to refrain from that behavior in Friend Group Number One.

Closing Words

Identity formation is an ongoing process in which there is no perfect outcome. We are constantly evolving, and our identity changes over time based on our experiences and self-reflection. It is important to remain true to oneself.